Just a few more months to your 2nd death anniversary. Trust me, I still feel your presence at home. I imagine going home to you, with your hilarious combed back afro hair, lying at the sofa, watching soccer and giving me the widest smile anyone could ever give me, even when I know, I've made a mistake by going home late. Just so you know, I don't get that very often now which makes me miss you even more.

Maybe what you became while you were here is partly my/our fault too. We never gave you a chance, we never tried to understand your anger, your misery, your loneliness. To have everyone pointing out only your mistakes, is hard. I feel like shit experiencing it myself, what more you? Who have been going through it for years and years and you still failed to get to us. Afterall, what's worst than going home to a house of three daughters who don't even bother to greet you. I am sorry, Dad :'(

You doted on me, and it's truly disappointing that I have to lose you to realize that. I won't deny and say that I haven't been a good daughter from the start and even when I've lost you, I still haven't been a good one. I often forget that you are relying on your daughters' prayers up there. I'm sorry I haven't done anything for you, I really am. From today onwards, I promise you... I won't never leave my prayers because that's the only time I can communicate with God to keep you safe and lighten your punishments. I miss you.